Today I’m tackling the topic of modesty, which can tend to be a rather controversial topic.
So I feel like this should be said at the beginning.
Each person, male and female, will have their own convictions about modesty and those may look different from person to person. Ultimately, you have to decide what your own modesty standard is.
I really appreciate this quote from Caroline Allen at themodestmomblog.com
“ In short, it is very difficult, if not downright impossible in some areas, to set down hard and fast rules when it comes to modesty. Because the scriptures are largely silent on many of the above issues, we should not take it upon ourselves to act as God’s mouthpiece when it comes to standards of modesty. Make no mistake, we must attempt to defend and proclaim all that the scriptures teach us concerning modesty, but we must also be oh so careful when we begin to advocate certain non scriptural standards as if they were the word of God. We would do well to remember that not only is it dangerous to teach people to do less than God’s law requires, it can be just as dangerous to teach them to do more.”
I also like this great quote from Emily Suzanne at beautifullywonderfulme.com
“Modesty is about not letting our clothing consume us or distract us from God. It’s about letting God’s grace and love define us rather than our appearance.”
That being said, there is so much more that could be said about this topic, but I’m not going to address all aspects in this post.
I will link to some articles at the end that provide some more food for thought about this many sided topic. I don’t necessarily agree with every point that these authors make, but I found reading them to be extremely helpful to me as I’ve formed my own thoughts about modestly.
Also, I think it needs to be said that modesty does not equal frumpy! God made beauty after all!
It’s definitely okay to care about fashion and be intentional about dressing to complement your personal style and flatter your body type.
One resource that I’ve found helpful is Dressing Your Truth. I watched the free videos and discovered that I am a type 2 style according to Carol Tuttle, the founder of the program. It was fascinating to see how your personality really does tie together with your personal sense of style and fashion.
Now for some practical outfit ideas and shopping tips!
Tips & Tricks
If you’re looking for more coverage for your legs, I recommend looking specifically for bermuda length shorts and crop length pants. (Does anyone still call them capris??) Knee length or longer skirts and dresses can be cute, fashionable, and cool!
Basically my best advice for finding tops that are not low cut and too snug is to keep on looking. My own experience is I can usually find something as long as I keep looking! It may take trying multiple stores or shopping online, so don’t lose hope!
I also want to share about a genius brand that has helps more layering options when wanting to make your existing tops and dresses more modest. Halftees! See further below for more info.
This is a tough one, but I’ve still seen lots of people that have gotten creative in what they wear for swimming. There are a few online stores that make and sell higher coverage swim outfits. I have several friends that wear shorts with a one piece and several that wear cover ups out of the water but then remove them when swimming. Lots of options in this area. I found my current swim outfit at Academy, see further below for more about that.
My favorite stores for finding modest clothing:
Loft Outlet almost always surprises me with the amount of modest, cute, practical, classy, affordable clothing that they provide. I love their straight jeans when I can find them, and have bought several tops and even shorts from here. No joke, my closet is full of Loft items. They just launched a webpage summer 2018, but for me it’s worth the 40 minute drive to visit the outlet store location so that I can try things on. Check out especially if you happen to have one nearby!
There’s also LOFT which is the non outlet version of the store. I personally have not had as much success there and the prices tend to be a bit higher although they do seem to have sales often.
Target has some great clothing options. If you don’t have success at first, keep checking back as their selection seems to change fairly often. I’m loving these two clothing items this summer! They’re so comfortable and practical.
I have found some great tops, bottoms, jackets, and dresses at Kohls. I like to buy my jewelry here as well. I love the Lauren Conrad brand for necklaces and more!
Academy is a sports and outdoors store, but I’ve found some tops, shorts, and sports bras here that I’ve liked. I also actually found my current swim outfit here. They have a wide variety of athletic gear that could be adapted to be swimwear. I personally prefer to wear shorts and a tank when swimming.
I’ve definitely had success with finding clothing at JCPenney in the past. They tend to offer great sales around the holidays too!
I own some Halftees and have been really impressed with the wide range of options that they offer. Halftees are basically short undershirts that are for layering purposes. They provide extra coverage without the bulk of a full cami or tee.
Neckline too low? There’s a Halftee for that. Don’t want to bare your shoulders with that tank, strappy top, or dress? There’s a Halftee for that. These provide lots of variety and ways to combine looks and outfits. Definitely recommend them!
Mikarose specializes in modest, elegant and fashionable clothing. This online store has mainly dresses but also offers some tops, skirts, and accessories. I’ve bought a couple of items from Mikarose and have enjoyed them. I generally prefer to try and buy things in store in order to be able to try them on before buying. But many times you can find much more variety and options online.
To conclude, here are some additional articles if you’d like to read more resources about dressing modestly.
“modesty is not body-shaming, it’s the very opposite – it’s body-VALUING”
“Instead of asking what is modest, we need to remember the why behind modesty”
“Modesty is one of those hot button issues–especially in today’s American culture”
“Today we are tackling three common myths: 1) That the same rules of modesty apply to everyone. 2) That modesty is dressing in such a way that no guy could lust after you. 3) That dressing to look cute for guys is wrong.”
“I love seeing women look beautiful because I believe God made beauty.”
“26 tips to help you dress modestly in the summer (from A-Z!)”
“Remember–modesty is about humility“
Do you have any favorite things that have helped you in your own modesty journey?
I’d love to hear your thoughts or questions. Feel free to comment below!